


Bring Me to Attention

by EllohriaEllihse, nightflower_panda



Series: Porcelain Phallacies [3]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Everyone is just a Troll, Flirting, Gladiolus Amicitia is a Troll, Humor, Idiots in Love, Innuendo, M/M, Noctis Lucis Caelum is a Troll, Questionable items of pottery, Regis Lucis Caelum is a Troll
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:13:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26248498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllohriaEllihse/pseuds/EllohriaEllihse, https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightflower_panda/pseuds/nightflower_panda
Summary: Are PDAs Perfect Distractions for an Audience or Pervertedly Disturbing and Awkward?Noctis isn't quite sure.King Regis doesn't care.
Relationships: Clarus Amicitia/Regis Lucis Caelum, Gladiolus Amicitia/Noctis Lucis Caelum
Series: Porcelain Phallacies [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1903486
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	Bring Me to Attention

Another meeting, another reason to be bored stiff. 

Since graduating, Noctis has been dragged into an increasing number of these meetings - some of them important, some of them mere formalities… But more often than not, after an hour of sitting and listening to seemingly pompous old men discuss whatever it is which needs to be discussed, Noctis' eyes glaze over and he struggles to keep his mind present. 

At least at school, his attention was necessary for his own benefit. In these cases, his presence is necessary mainly for show. Noctis rarely has anything useful to input, being relatively new to the finer points of how to run a kingdom. He's really just there for moral support: to 'sit there and look pretty', as Gladio likes to put it. Especially in the absence of King Regis, who is a little more discerning of which sessions require him to be there or not… It leaves Noctis to pick up the royal slack.

When the meetings start to consistently stretch past a couple of hours, and Noctis finds it progressively more difficult to keep himself from drifting off to sleep, Ignis comes up with the bright idea to begin inserting a coffee break into the proceedings. The breaks serve both as a pick-me-up for the Prince and as a subtle reminder to the rest of the council of the need to wrap things up swiftly.

It works for a while. Noctis knows he either has a delicious snack to look forward to (courtesy of Ignis), or the ends of the painfully dull discussions are in sight - and it keeps him relatively awake for the next couple of months of meetings.

But then the novelty gives way, and Noctis finds he needs something else to keep his attention. 

Fortunately, Gladio notices and comes up with the perfect answer.

"My apologies," Ignis clears his throat, causing all eyes in the meeting room to come to a rest upon him, "but it seems to be time for a coffee break."

Ignis stands, ready to collect the tea trolley from the adjacent room.

"Let me help you with that," Gladio nods from his position behind Noctis' seat, and Ignis raises an eyebrow in response. 

Gladio doesn't usually offer to help.

"...Of course."

They leave the meeting room together, as the other members of the council fold their arms and huff and mumble, and Noctis struggles to keep his eyelids from closing while he rests his chin in his hand.

Then they return, Ignis with an expression quite unreadable and Gladio blatantly holding back a smirk.

Ignis wheels the trolley to beside the table and begins transferring its contents across.

Gladio places a mug in front of Noctis.

A mug with no handle.

A perfect golden tan.

Noctis suddenly feels a little more awake.

"In the mood for something _hot_ and _creamy,_ Your Highness?" Gladio murmurs, his voice deep like honey, smooth and clear for the whole room to hear.

Noctis catches the hint.

"...Only if you're the one to _give it to me_." 

"I'm always more than happy to _fill you right up_."

Gladio reaches for the coffee, pouring it slowly into Noctis' mug.

"Might be a little bitter, but d'you think you can manage swallowing it down?" 

"I'll make sure not to spill a drop," Noctis smirks, licking his lips. "I've never choked on what you've put in my mouth before, have I?"

There's an undeniable shift in atmosphere, the eavesdropping old men trying hard but failing to hide their embarrassment. 

Noctis puts the final nail in the coffin, taking a deep gulp from his mug before placing it back down on the table with a gentle, yet forceful, tap - purposefully facing the vessel outwards this time, its sculpted design now fully on display for all those who had looked across at the sound…

Toned pectorals leading down to a rippling six-pack and a gloriously erect cock; the tattoo over the chest leaves no doubt as to who the mug is modelled after.

"You always hit the spot inside me _just_ right, Gladio," Noctis sighs, allowing his fingers to trace nonchalantly up and down the edge of the porcelain erection. He enjoys the way the others seated around the table can't decide whether to keep staring or look away.

Gladio lets out a low laugh and walks round to the tea trolley, bending to retrieve a mug of his own from the lower level, then returns to Noctis' side after filling it with coffee.

"Looks like Iggy made sponge fingers," Gladio comments. "How many fingers d'you think you can take, Noct?" 

Noctis hums thoughtfully, taking another sip of his drink, so Gladio continues.

"Let's take it easy with just the one finger to start with, then I'll add another when you think you're ready, yeah?" 

Someone at the table coughs into their hand.

"Unless you'd prefer we skip straight to the good stuff?" Gladio nods at the slices of cream cake. "Bet you can't wait to get some of that white stuff inside you."

Someone at the table chokes on their tea.

Gladio puts his mug down in front of Noctis' - a paler skin tone and perfect depiction of a man's smooth yet firm buttocks - and leans his body weight onto one hand on the table, his face mere inches from Noctis' cheek.

"Why do you always make it so _hard_ for me…" Noctis sighs, turning to face his Shield so their noses almost touch.

Gladio grins and pushes their two mugs together, tanned erect cock against creamy pale ass, the soft clink echoing throughout the high-ceilinged room.

"You're always welcome to _ride_ on me if it gets too much."

"I'll keep that in mind for _later,"_ Noctis breathes against his Shield's lips.

Someone at the table drops their coffee with a loud clatter.

"P- perhaps we ought to end the meeting here for today?" one of the senior council members chokes out, pushing his seat backwards as he stands. 

"Yes, perhaps," another hurriedly agrees.

"An excellent idea!" comes a third voice.

Gladio presses his mouth closed to hide a smile, straightening himself up again, too.

"Would that be to Your Highness' liking?" Gladio asks with a mock bow of his head.

"You know _exactly_ what I like," Noctis replies with a coy grin.

"Yes! Well!" the old men at the table begin bustling themselves out of the room, giving quick goodbyes and promises to pick up on the points still leftover at a later date.

Soon, only Gladio, Noctis and Ignis are left.

There's a brief silence. Ignis begins busying himself with clearing up, then the Prince and his Shield burst into shared laughter. 

"Really now," Ignis resists rolling his eyes.

"Come on, Specs," Noctis snorts. "You were dying in that meeting, too. You must've been."

"Let's do this every time these things drag on," Gladio chuckles. "Coffee break time, bring out the mugs - they'll soon get the hint to cut their ramblings down."

"That," Noctis grins, reaching for some cake before Ignis tidies it away, "sounds like a plan."

And it is. 

And it works.

The old men can't bring themselves to complain, completely unsure what to do about the situation - because how can anyone be so nonchalant over using such explicitly designed ceramics, and how can it be that even the young Scientia doesn't utter a word of disapproval? Until the day finally comes wherein Prince Noctis and King Regis are scheduled to attend a meeting together.

Surely, those mugs won't make an appearance in the presence of the King. Surely this means they can, for once, talk to their hearts' content?

"Please excuse the interruption," Ignis raises a gloved hand. "I'm afraid we're due for a coffee break."

The members around the table begin to hum and murmur under their breaths. What will the Prince do now?

"Yes, of course," Regis nods. "I've heard tale of these coffee breaks becoming a recent addition to proceedings - I must admit, I've been rather looking forward to taking part myself."

Some of the old men cast apprehensive glances at each other, wondering what will happen next - because truthfully, they haven't had a coffee break in a while; they've always made sure to stop beforehand.

"I'll just go fetch the trolley," Ignis stands with a bow.

"Please do," Regis smiles. "In fact, I've even brought my own mug. Well, I say it's mine but perhaps I ought to say it's Clarus'..." the King begins to ramble, leaning down to pick up something from beneath the table. "You wouldn't believe the lengths I went to to get this made, a more accurate portrayal simply a necessity…"

Regis sits back up and lovingly places a large porcelain mug on the table in front of him.

"Fucking _Astrals,_ really?" Clarus curses under his breath, tensing where he stands before he ends up making a scene. He can't see the King's face but Clarus just knows Regis is smirking now - damn bratty King, always pushing his buttons until he's seething with both annoyance and arousal. To think he's been with this man for years!

All the other men seated around just stare at the sight - their eyes are greeted by the smooth golden tan of a pair of gleaming ceramic buttocks.

"Ah, my apologies," Regis chuckles. "You can't even see what I'm talking about."

He twists the mug around so its fully erect, rather generously sized cock, can be seen towering proudly over the table. Clarus inwardly groans at his King's antics.

"Fear not, my son," Regis notices the wide eyes of the Prince. "This is the _Senior_ Shield Edition. I know they look similar, but you'll notice the details on this one are--" 

He doesn't get to finish his sentence before Clarus snatches up the mug from behind, strides across the room, and chucks the thing as hard as he can out of the open window. He couldn't hold himself back after all. And once again, both the King and Senior Amicitia hear a distant yell from some hapless Citadel personnel.

"Clarus!!" Regis shouts in exasperated surprise. "How many of these things are you going to make me buy?!" 

"Punishment. Later," Clarus says unphased, glaring at everyone in the room - including the Prince - as he returns to his post behind the King. His silent message is clear: _not a word or you die on the spot_.

Gladio reaches to squeeze at Noctis' shoulder, wordless in his comfort… and discomfort. He's pretty sure everyone could have done without such a display from their fathers… And the King's choice of mug. Now he knows how those old men feel.

"Oh," Regis pouts. "In that case, I'll need to buy more mugs to ensure you're in the mood for it." He purposefully quirks an eyebrow at his Shield - undoubtedly restraining himself to just have his lover's punishment right then and there.

"...I made scones today," Ignis comments through the stunned atmosphere, keen to return some degree of professionalism to the room - despite the fact that he's very much scandalized by what he's just witnessed. "They go well with tea," he subtly slides a teacup and saucer towards the head of the table.

Taking the treats passed their way in silence, Noctis and Gladio are both secretly glad they hadn't brought their own mugs today.

**Author's Note:**

> When will these end?? 🤣


End file.
